It was time that I’ve updated my Self Care spread in my Bullet Journal. A few years back I started having a Self-Care spread in my Bullet Journal where I’ve tried to establish some healthy routines in times where I felt good. I concentrated on easy things like having some down time in a bubble bath, eat my favourite food and watch my favourite movie but even those things could be too much if I’d be at my worst.
Working on myself when I’m good helped me SO much! It not only made my good phases last way longer, it also helped me to be more gentle with myself in a depressive phase and not expecting to work on myself for a while. I used to do it the other way around. When I was at my worst I looked for ways to establish routines and such to get better but when I was good, I didn’t think about those routines anymore. Establishing those routines when I’m good and it’s easy to work on myself, help me to stick to at least a few things while I’m at my worst. Does this make sense?
Having a place to put down all the things that help me feeling good about myself, really helped me to actually get into those routines and not getting all over the place. A few simple routines to learn to actually stick to some things and see that it really helps my mental health. To establish some discipline. By now, I don’t really need to remind myself to take a bubble bath but this is something that will be on every single Self-Care spread I’ll create J
It took me a while (almost two years) to get to this point but for the last 6 months I finally started to trust myself enough to start challenging myself again. I do trust myself enough to know, that I won’t get overwhelmed by negative feelings if I don’t reach one of my goals.
This is a way to gently work on myself and to help me internalise, that goals are there to work towards to and not expecting perfection from the beginning. This is the magic of Bullet Journaling. All of this was a journey and I can't believe how much I've learned in this short two and a half years. It might sound like a dreading long time if I'd be in the beginning but compared to the last ten years, starting a Bullet Journal was the easiest but most helpful thing I ever did.
But let’s get back into my Spread.
Short Daily Workout:
There actually is no reason for me to not find the time for a short 20min workout every day except, that I’m just too lazy for it. Which is fine for some day but not for most days like it was. And it also it the point where I know I’ll fail. At this point, I don’t workout daily but I manage to workout at least three times a week. If this means, going on a long walk, going to dance class or working out at home with a Youtube Video, isn’t important. I just expect from myself to do something. And I’m working towards to doing it daily.
Even though this should be an easy thing, I still need to work on that. To have an evening where I truly pamper myself and not “just” have a bath and then get right back into doing some work. I still need to learn how to have a whole evening where I just care about myself without feeling guilty. So this is still on my list.
This has an extra point because it isn’t easy for me to actually go out, into a group of people who the most are fitter than I and workout. I love it when I’m there but getting there is a challenge. I want to push myself to get out more because those endorphins after dance class are the BEST!
Read In the Morning:
I started this when I did one of my weekly Self-Care Checklist on my IG Story. One point was to read 30min every day. And with this I finally started reading in the morning again, I used to do this every day when I still was in school (because I NEEDED this extra time to read, duh). It’s so nice to have these extra minutes in bed and instead of scrolling through social media, I read in my book and I’m starting my day more grounded.
Go On Walks:
So easy but again, I just need to remind myself to actually go. I always find some excuse why going on a walk isn’t the right thing to do so I “trick” myself by walking everywhere (I live in Zurich, Switzerland, where this is quite easy) if it’s not raining cats and dogs. But going on a walk without a destination, still weirds me out (for absolutely no reason).
There it is and there it will stay.
Writing is so hard for me. I still censor myself quite heavily which is weird because no one will ever read most of the things I write down so there is no need for that. Working on it though.
Stay In Bed If Needed:
I’m not weak just because there are day where I need to stay in bed with the covers over my head. It’s fine.
Which probably will mean, getting my Mom to cook her Lasagne for me. She’s the best and no, I don’t want to try your Mom’s Lasagne, thank you very much.
Breathe in, Love out:
I still catch myself with my teeth pressed together wondering why my head aches even though byy now, I’m better in breathing and reminding myself to unclench my jaw (gentle reminder here to lower your shoulders, unclench your jaw, roll your head from your left shoulder to your right and breathe).
Let S. Take Care Of Me:
Why is it the hardest thing to let my boyfriend take care of me? I’m so used to do everything myself, that I don’t even consider letting him in and help. This wasn’t always easy, especially on him. I really need to learn to open up to him and let him help.
Listen To Music (with my eyes closed):
Just lying in my bed, listing to music on my earphones and let my thoughts roam. I can do this for hours and I need to do it more.
I’m also having a little weekly Self-Care Checklist where I set myself some short term goals I’d like to reach within my week. Having these two things to challenge myself to being more consistent with working on myeself , help me to expand my comfort zone, trust myself more and are the fundament of my journey to having a free mind.
It's not my intention to be this anxious being for the rest of my life and I truly feel good with finally feeling like I have some control over my life back. I dare to want things again, to have goals I'd like to reach and not "just" exist in my cocoon. I needed this cocoon for a long time, it was needed to get to the place I am today.
I’d love to hear from you!